Free fall

Those of you who have been around long enough know I try to listen to that little voice when it whispers. Not the negative little bastard whispering all sorts of crap and trying to steer me wrong, but the voice of, I don’t know, intuition? The Guardian Angel? Perhaps it’s the channel plugged into the universe that every so often comes into tune enough for me to hear it.

You also know I’m dense as a board at times and the little voice has to turn up the volume to megaphone status for me to pay attention. It seems like that’s what’s been going on for the last several months. When hubby’s mom passed we sorted through all her belongings, her keepsakes. She was born in 1930 and was a pack rat much like myself, having things from her grandparents and great-grandparents. As I went through these things, especially the handwritten recipes and antique cooking utensils, I thought about the women who had used these items, what their lives were like, what would have been important to them. I thought about my own relatives, the lives of loved ones, and sifting through the records on Ancestry I took note of how they had lived their lives—farmers, ranchers, plumbers, butchers, pioneers. Some worked the land on a small scale while others had thousands of acres.

Going through the news I’d run across what others were doing with their lives, decisions they had made in the past and whether they were happy with the paths they had chosen. Hubby and I had several discussions about those people. I’d flip through sites and see people at different stages of their lives, and at times they would say some simple yet profound things. At the birth of a child and vowing to be there: “I just don’t want to look back and say, ‘God, I should have been there more,’ because I have a feeling that I’ll never look back and say, ‘Jeez, I should have worked more’”. Or “When life asks you to dance, you just have to dance.”

Or my horoscope: You’ve got nothing to lose and plenty to gain, so make sure that you’re telling the right people what’s really possible. Only you can share this new idea with the world — so go for it!

And Speak from the heart and the mind today — and make it creative! That would seem like a tall order for most people, but you’ve got the right kind of mental energy to pull it off with verve!

Then the last one: It’s time to pick yourself up and move on — things just aren’t that much fun down here. The good news is that your mental and spiritual energies are perfect for leaving the past behind.

Leap of faith, the little voice whispered. I finally stopped running in circles and focused on that whisper. For the most part in my life I’ve always done what was expected, what I was supposed to do. But there were a handful of times I took a leap of faith, did something completely unexpected, off the wall and out of character, and those were life-changing moments, memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I sat down and wrote an email, saved it in draft. Tweaked it once, twice, then hit ‘send’.

It was the most peaceful, calm feeling in the world. No panic, nothing negative, just absolute calm.

 

I quit my job.

 

I’ve never done that. Nope, 47 years old and have never quit before. My first real job lasted 26-1/2 years before my position was “eliminated” and sent over to India. (I’ll hit the highlights of that in another blog post). I’ve been with this job 3-1/2 years. Good company, working part-time, but that in and of itself had drawbacks. No vacation time, no sick leave, no benefits for part-time. Mandatory requirement of working either Saturday or Sunday every single week. Only allowed 10 hours of unpaid leave a year. You see where this could become an issue after a while?

I’ll post the list I made of the pros and cons along with the benefits of the decision I made later on. Right now I’m indulging in a glass of red wine and enjoying an absolutely profound wave of peace and happiness. Join me in raising a glass to a leap of faith!

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